The Tuesday Morning God Asked Me a Question: From the Pit of Torment to the Gift of Pain 🌅✨
We’ve all heard the pious phrase, “God gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers.”
For years, I believed that. In fact, I believed that the hellhole I was living in was somehow the will of God for my life. I was convinced of it. Even when I opened the Scriptures searching for an exit, my heavy, ignorant heart only clung to the verses that confirmed the torment my mind was already trapped in.
I was living in a body that had become so accustomed to shame, self-condemnation, fear, regret, insecurity, failure, lack, stress, and depression that even on mornings when my mind was quiet, my physical body would automatically wake up tormented by the spirit of anxiety. 🥀
I wanted to escape the person I had become so badly that I just wanted to stop breathing. I knew God wouldn’t answer a prayer to take my life—I had tried to end it twice before, and He explicitly said no. But I felt utterly alone, worthless, and paralyzed by fear.
To make the weight heavier, the world around me began to judge my silent valley. A friend publicly labeled me a "procrastinator," posting my picture online alongside a long list of how far I had supposedly "failed" in life. 💔
She reminded the world of who I used to be: the top student, the beautiful girl every boy admired, the one lacking no resource, the aspiring medical doctor with every door wide open. She wasn’t entirely wrong about the aspirations I once had... but her public condemnation only added fuel to the fire beneath the lowly, broken life I was enduring.
I didn't realize it then, but God was waiting by my bedside every single morning. 🕊️
The Question That Changed Everything 🗣️🔥
On a random Tuesday a couple of months ago, I sat on the edge of my bed, dreading the start of yet another day. As my feet hit the floor, the heavy atmosphere of dread settled over me like a lead blanket.
And then, in the middle of that cold and lonely bedroom, the beautiful, gentle voice of the Lord Almighty broke through the noise:
“You took up all of these burdens on yourself. Who told you that they were yours to carry? I never did.”
I sat frozen. All this time, I thought toiling through life in agony was me standing in the will of God. I thought I had to carry it. But God doesn't ask us to carry what He already bore at the Cross.
“Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.” — Isaiah 53:4 📖
Right there on the edge of my mattress, my heavenly Father asked me one more question that completely shattered the lens of my suffering:
“What if... what if pain is a gift I have given you?” 🎁✨
The Transformed Perspective 🧠➡️❤️
Immediately, every Scripture I had ever read in my pit began to read differently in my mind. The veil lifted. My pain didn't disappear, but it transformed—it became so perfectly, exquisitely beautiful.
I realized that God let me reach the absolute end of my own strength so that He finally had something broken to work with. He had to break my self-reliance so He could teach me His Way.
I began to learn the true power of:
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Correction & Transformation: Understanding that “as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7).
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Justification & Sanctification: Knowing that my true identity isn't defined by my past achievements or a public label on social media, but by who I am in Christ.
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Pure Grace: Realizing it is “not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord of hosts” (Zechariah 4:6).
For the first time in my entire life, standing in the middle of circumstances that hadn't even fully changed yet... I learned that I am truly, unconditionally loved. ❤️🔥
What I Want You to Know Today 💬🌿
If you are waking up today dreading the sunrise, feeling tormented by anxiety, or crushed by the expectations of people who saw your potential but couldn't handle your valley—hear this truth:
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Stop carrying what God never assigned to you. You are not a pack mule for anxiety, fear, or self-condemnation. Roll those burdens off your shoulders onto Him (1 Peter 5:7).
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The presence of the Lord is everything. When you have Christ, you lack nothing. He doesn’t leave you alone to figure it out; He walks through every dark hallway right beside you (Psalm 23:4).
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Your pain is not wasted. In God’s hands, pain is not a punishment—it is a sacred gift that strips away the false self so that the resurrection life of Jesus can shine through you.
That cold Tuesday morning didn't just mark another day on the calendar. It was the birth of a brand new life. My circumstances didn't change overnight, but I changed—because I finally let the Father hold what I was never built to bear.
